Skip to main content

Doomsday To Do List - So Much To Do, So Little Time



As you've no doubt already heard, today is the end of the world so if you have any unfinished business to attend to, get moving and get er' done. One thing's for sure, it's not like we didn't have any warnings about the inevitable coming of the apocalypse. Signs were everywhere.


Still not convinced ? If you were an almighty power and gave your creation free will to take all the beauty you've given them to go forth and enhance life on earth and harness the wonders all around you and the best we come up with is this:


Wouldn't you cash in the chips and move on to something else too? Still not convinced ? How about this:


Granted - he is amusing but holy cow, where the hell do we go from here ?!?! So again, the end is literally around the corner so here's a list of things to do (or not to do) in lieu of the coming destruction.

1. Don't pay any debt. (Why bother?)
2. Run with scissors. (What's the worst that can happen, you're gonna die anyway)
3. Tell the neighborhood bully he's an idiot. (Even if he beats the crap out of you it will only hurt for a few hours)
4. Tell your office mates you're the one secretly passing the silent but deadly ones. (You think they're going to care at a time like this?)
5. Call you're cable company and order all the premium channels. (If you're gonna die, may as well have an awesome selection of viewing options)
6. Use real butter. (Seriously, you're going to worry about your cholesterol now ?)
7. Order and actually eat a baconator. (After eating one, world's end won't come quick enough)
8. Mix your recyclables in with your regular garbage. (No amount of recycling will save us now)
9. Rent a Ferrari and drive the bajeezus out of it. 
10. Do something really stupid.......... but what ? 




In the event that the world doesn't end, do not attempt anything on the previously mentioned list. They were only suggestions anyway. Yup - it's over folks. However you choose to spend you're last day on earth, hope you enjoy doing it and if at all possible - Keep It Retro !











Comments

Popular posts from this blog

R.I.P. Neil Armstrong (1930-2012) The Original Moonwalker

The first man you ever set foot on the moon, Neil Alden Armstrong, passed away on Saturday at the age of 82. Neil had a pretty amazing career before becoming an astronaut. He served as a U.S. Naval pilot in the Korean war, and then as a test pilot before joining the space program in 1962. He performed the first docking of two spacecraft during his first space flight aboard Gemini 8 in 1966 and then became the first human being to walk on the moon on his second and last mission on Apollo 11 in 1969.    When you think about the modern "daredevil" or stuntman and all the wild and dangerous things they do, nothing comes close to what the original astronauts of the early space program dared to do. Imagine strapping yourself into a small capsule, whose outside walls are as thin as a coin, and then lighting the fuse that will ignite the huge gas tank your capsule is sitting on and hoping for the best. Sure it was a bit more te...

The History of a Clown

No other fast food mascot comes to mind quicker or is more recognizable than Ronald McDonald. Other than Santa Claus, no other character is more recognized around the world than the hamburger loving spokesman for the McDonalds Corporation. Ronald McDonald was actually an altered version of Bozo the Clown created by an ad executive and a clown from the Ringling Brothers Circus. One of the early actors to portray Ronald was a part time Bozo performer and NBC Today Show weatherman, Willard Scott. Not only did he give the clown a name, Ronald, he also took a stab at creating the look of Ronald by creating a costume out of a paper cup for a nose and a cardboard tray as a hat. Pathetic? Yes..... yes it was. Bozo the Clown (R.I.P) Willard and his recycled Costume However, although crude, he was responsible for giving the character a personality and help promote the local franchises. Willard was dumped in 1966 when the corporation took Ronald national citing the reason for dumping Willard as ...

Steven Tyler Hopes To Walk This Way Soon

Steve Tyler, the lead singer of Aerosmith was showing his age the other night when he fell off the stage while doing his little dance during a performance at the"Buffalo Chip Campground and Trailer Park" - What the hell did I just type? A campground? My how things change. How do you go from playing the Superbowl to a campground? The 61 year old front man was air lifted to hospital after suffering minor head, neck and shoulder injuries after falling off a catwalk of the stage onto some fans. Back in the day that was called crowd surfing but at 61, that's just falling into a crowd. The clapper can't be too far behind at this point.

Earth, Wind and Ozzy !!

There is no doubt that the advent of technology has produced many amazing things that most of us never saw coming or would ever think was possible. Furthest from anyone's mind would be the mashing of two polar opposite musical styles of heavy metal and funk. Not possible you say? Check out the fine work by DJ Cummerbund as he seamlessly combines the heavy metal madness of Ozzy Osbourne with the super slick, funky rhythms of Earth, Wind and Fire to produce a mashup of Crazy Train and September. Ain't technology grand??

Scary Old School Surgical Tools

You may want to pray the doctor is out. It seems kind of dumb to be squeamish about needles or having a prostate exam when you see the kinds of vintage instruments of terror doctors used back in the day. Click the Vicodin popping doctor below to goto the article.