Retroguy's Wonderland

It kind of sucks when things you grew up with and liked or possibly loved get twisted into something different and are forever tied to some stupid act or worse a really really really really dumb guy. When I was a kid, Oscar Mayer was synonymous with delicious hot dogs or bologna. A wiener was something you looked forward to at a ballgame or a cookout. Now, when someone says wiener, you immediately think of: Oh sorry, that's a picture of a twit not a wiener........ or is it both....... hmmmm, so confused now. Honestly though, who could have seen it coming. Anthony Weiner always looked so confident, so professional and well adjusted. A man of power and resolve. Why would there be any reason after enjoying moderate political success that he'd crave and need the admiration of young women to feel powerful and accomplished? I'm sure as a young lad he got his ya ya's out so that as an adult he could keep his libido in check. After all the action he must have go...

If you happen to have forgotten mother's day, which is is today, don't be surprised if the looks your getting from mama look something like this. And rightly so. After all, regardless of what you think of your mother, remember one thing - she grew a human being inside her body. Let me say that again - she grew a human being (or possibly a few) in her body. For that alone you have to respect her. She sacrificed her body, time and energy and smothered you with unconditional love to make you the person you are today and you couldn't take the time to drop by a Hallmark store? Mr T pities the fool that doesn't respect his mom.  I'm still lucky to have my mom in my life and it amazes me that even at her age she seems to have more energy than I do and still manages to keep smiling even with all the aches and pain that come with getting older. What's the secret ? How does she do it ? Many have entertained the Supermom theory and that would certainly explain a lot...

There is no logo in the world that is more recognizable than the Coca Cola company's flagship product. Coke and its classic bottle design are a symbol known all over the world. It's gotten to the point you don't even need to have the word Coke in an advertisement as long as the distinctive bottle shape is there somewhere in the image. The classic shape has evolved over the last hundred years and has gone from a rather boring square shaped bottle to the curvy silhouette it now maintains. Below is a timeline picture showing the changes over the years . The shape is also responsible for designers of other products to be inspired by the sexy elements of the bottle, most notably  car designers. there are many examples but one of the best is the 1968 Corvette. The evolution of the bottle continues with many commemorative issues produced for various promotions but one of the latest trends was the availability of metal bottles as well.  There is no doubt the bottle will...

In a previous post we covered ads from a simpler time that were some of the most sexist we've seen. (Click here to see that post) Let's take a look at a few more ads that were not so much sexist but just kinda dumb.   This ad was pretty hopeful. Some day ALL beer cans will open as easy as the new Schlitz soft aluminum cans. The old cans needed a can opener to get to the amber nectar within but the new cans can be easily opened simply with...... a can opener. Progress baby......progress.  No different than now, back in the 40s people would look to medical professionals for advice on how be the best they could be. Since more doctors preferred Camels, naturally the smart thing for a smoker to do was to switch to Camels as well. You'd have to be a complete idiot to smoke a brand not endorsed by a dapper doctor who smokes in his office. Been a long time since we've seen an ashtray in an examination room.  While we're on the subject of smoking, this ad also offere...

Ever find yourself getting upset that your current mp3 player can only hold 1200 songs or that the battery is only good for about three days on a single charge? I can't say that I feel your pain. Reason is I grew up before we starting storing our songs on memory chips. Back in the 70s, 80s and better part of the 90s, society had to get by with the cassette tape. This miracle that followed the 8-track and reel to reel concept allowed people to record their vinyl albums and put only the songs they really wanted all onto one handy, dandy portable medium just slightly larger than a cigarette pack. That was pretty tiny in those days. You could record up to 120 minutes of your favorite tunes on one single cassette. It allowed you to create the perfect blend of tunes to keep that party going or to offer up as a token of your love to that special someone with groovy titles like, "Midnight Love Mix Pt1" or "Fantasy Voyage of Love". With the proliferation of audio cas...

It's Super Bowl time again and that can mean only one thing for some - salty snacks, meat, lots of booze and a huge helping of football being played for all the marbles. For others it simply means cool and innovative television ads interrupted by a bunch of guys chasing a ball on a field. Regardless which side of the fence (field?) you're on, you can't deny the creative display put on each year during the Super Bowl which this year costs a whopping $3 Million U.S. per spot. Unbelievable. Companies are banking on the exposure the commercial receives and possible buzz it generates will hopefully translate into money well spent. For a look back at the last 38 years of Super Bowl ads, click the picture of the smirking quarterback below to go to a site dedicated to showcasing some of the best television ads ever produced for Super Sunday. (Hate to say it but I think this guy will be smirking again this coming Sunday - sorry Saints, I'm rooting for you though!)

If you grew up in the late 60s, 70s and 80s you probably had SpaghettiOs. As you got older you probably made the switch to something more adult like Chunky soup. Both of these were developed by Donald Goerke while working for Franco American that eventually was bought by Campbells Soup. You can't help noticing that SpaghettiOs sound eerily similar to Cheerios. (Can you say ripoff?) I wish they'd carry this theme over to other food. Still waiting for BaconO's or even PizzaO's.......mmmmmm. I digress. Sadly, Donald passed away last week and left behind a legacy of retro goodness in the form of two classic advertising catch phrases or slogans: "Uh - oh SpaghettiOs" and "Soup that eats like a meal!"

In an earlier post , we saw how advertisers in the 50s dealt with the delicate subject of feminine hygiene. The fact that the product used for achieving the ultimate in feminine squeaky cleanliness was Lysol disinfectant, proved to be more disturbing than the ad itself. In a similar ad, we now see how modern mothers of the 50s and 60s handled this delicate subject with their daughters. Kind of rude I admit but that ad had nothing on the ad below that kind of illustrates what our 50s era modern mother was eluding to. Subtle like a brick to the side of the face. Yet another example of an ad designed and written by a man, sold by a man and bought by a man. Keep in mind - these are both real ads from back in the day.

I've been in a bit of a football kick these last few days probably a reaction to my five week winning streak in fantasy football but it got me thinking of some classic commercials featuring football. Obviously the Superbowls have given us some classics in recent years but in my retro world only one sticks out as a true feel good classic. Coca Cola did an ad in 1979 featuring all-Pro Pittsburgh Steeler defensive back "Mean" Joe Greene which became an instant classic. They actually remade the commercial for Super Bowl XLIII featuring current Pittsburgh Steeler defensive back Troy Polomalu that had a bit of a twist from the original. Here they are together - see if you spot the subtle differences.

No matter what side of the fence you're on in the PC /Apple battle, one thing you have to admit is that both Apple and Microsoft have always been great marketing rivals with campaigns being fought in battles of epic proportions matched only by the cola wars between Coke and Pepsi and possibly Spud McKenzie for Budweiser and Alex from Strohs......but I digress. Back in 1984 when Apple launched their new Macintosh during the Superbowl, they hit the ground running with a commercial that took advantage of the whole George Orwell "1984" Big Brother controls you, you need to break free shtick along with a dose of healthy female athlete running without a sports bra angle. Well played Apple........ well played. The commercial served notice that they would be a force to be reckoned with in the years to come and the battle still wages on. Frankly I could care less and still do the PC thing and respect those that choose the Apple way of life. Wish I could say the same about Apple us...

There is no no doubt that many of the creative people behind many of the ads we see and hear on TV and radio today are Retro kids from the 70s and 80s. You don't have to go too far for proof. Today's example, the Cadbury Dairy Milk Chocolate TV ad featuring the electro funk classic, "Don't Stop The Rock" from Freestyle. I think it's a good ad since it resonates with me because of the music and it's goofy enough that you'll be talking about it but it took me a few views to finally remember what product the ad was actually about. Not so good as far as advertising goes. Still - how many of you forgot about this song until you saw it on the Cadbury ad? Retro lives!!

Some of the most innovative ads of the 80s and 90s were a result of the cola wars that waged between industry giants Coca-Cola and Pepsi. This bitter rivalry started in the late 1800's (talk about retro!) and continues to this very day. Soft drink origins date back when herbal cola syrup mixtures were sold in pharmacies as cure-alls and brain tonics. Colas back then actually contained coca extract from the kola nut that is better known today as cocaine. Needless to say people liked to get their cola fix but found the stuff too hard to drink straight so pharmacists began mixing it with water at first and eventually soda water which many people found be a very pleasant tasting beverage. Fast forward 100 years, the cocaine is no longer an ingredient, but we're still sucking the stuff back like it actually does a body good. Hardly. So here's a small tribute to some of the Pepsi ads from back in the day. Why Pepsi instead of Coke? It gave me an excuse to post an ad with a young ...

Many a young actor has been faced with making commercials as a way to pay the bills that can hopefully lead to something bigger and better. If they're lucky, it will be an advertisement that is classy and have artistic merit that they can proudly look back on. On the other hand, it may be something they regret ever doing and hate anyone for bringing it up. Here's a look at a few more examples of commercials featuring celebrities before they made it big - you decide what category they belong in as mentioned above. To check out the first installment, click here and the second installment, click here . Before hanging with friends as Joey Tribiani, Matt LeBlanc did a Heinz Ketchup commercial that was actually pretty cool. Even back then you could almost picture the classic line oozing out of him made famous years later on Friends, "How yooooou doin'.....?" Bruce Willis made an appearance on our second installment, with hair, dancing away in a Levi's ad. Here he i...

These days there are so many regulations, safety standards and laws in place to try and keep children's toys safe from harming kids and even with all that in place, you still hear about toys being recalled due to risks of chocking or burning and so on. However, back in the 70s and 80s, there were toys that almost seemed like the manufacturers were trying to compete on developing the most dangerous toys possible. Case in point was the Kenner Demolition Derby play set that featured two fair sized cars that were designed to blow apart into little pieces when they were smashed into each other at a pretty good speed. So whenever you smashed them together, little bite sized pieces of the cars with sharp edges would go flying in all directions, perfect for taking out an eye or being found by a toddler and choking on it. Having said that - you wanted one.......you really wanted one.

In a previous post we covered retro ads from a simpler time that were among the creepiest I've ever seen. (Click here to see that post) Let's now take a look at some ads that were done in a time when it was considered a man's world and women were here only to serve men, be a perfect wife, do all the house work, try not to do stupid things and always be fresh and pretty regardless of what they were doing. We all know that not only does such a Utopia not exist (I'm kidding ladies) but in retrospect, the people behind the creative direction of these ads really missed the mark not only conceptually but the ad wording (or copy in technical terms) is just plain awful. Clearly, these ads were designed by men, written by men, sold by men and bought by men. "Husbands admire wives who keep their stockings perfect." I love how this ad implies that being married is no reason for a woman to let herself go and should always look her best. Especially since the guy took th...

The late, great Dave Thomas created the Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers franchise (who knew old fashioned hamburgers were square!?!) after making a name for himself with Kentucky Fried Chicken. Working with Colonel Sanders himself, Dave was responsible for trimming down the menu offerings, and focusing the restaurant on specializing on chicken and turned the business into one of the most successful fast food franchises in the world. Taking what he learned with KFC, he poured all his energy into making Wendy's (named after his daughter) more than just a pain in McDonald's and Burger King's side. It was because of him that other fast food restaurants had to change certain processes and begin offering certain things that were never done before, like the larger sized portions (yeah - thanks for that Dave), salads and the super value menu. The real Wendy (Melinda actually) Wendy's was also pretty creative in the marketing department as well. Before Dave became the spoke...

You know you used to watch a lot of TV as a kid when you catch yourself mumbling a certain part of an advertising jingle from time to time even though the commercial hasn't played on air in over 30 years. Case in point - the Kohner Brothers "Pop-O-Matic" Trouble. Originally made by Irwin in 1965, it eventually was made by Milton Bradley which is now part of Hasbro. This probably explains why the board games of today aren't as good as back then with all the major brands are buying each other up - so much for competition. But I digress. Although the game was actually called Trouble, you probably knew it more as "Pop-O-Matic Trouble" thanks to the popular commercial from around 1970 that showcased the plastic domed dice container that when pushed down would "pop" the dice ensuring a fair roll of the dice, faster game play and guaranteed annoyance to parents everywhere due to the constant popping sound.

We've all seen them. Every magazine in the '70s and '80s used to feature the cheesy body building ads in the back of the magazine promising a new body in virtually no time at all in as little as 15 minutes a day. You see similar ads today promising the same thing only there are few difference. For one thing, the ads today do not feature a weakling that gets constantly bullied only to send away for the program, bulk up and then go back and beat the living crap out of the bully. Today the ads usually show someone who is overweight and has trouble zipping up their pants or just pear shaped in the worst way. They send for the program and instantly they have rock hard abs and killer buns of graphite (steel is so '80s). When I was younger I actually sent away for Charles Atlas's program and surprise surprise it was simply working out with weights. Nothing fancy, no expensive machines or gizmos - honest to goodness hard work and training was and is the only way to a more...

No other fast food mascot comes to mind quicker or is more recognizable than Ronald McDonald. Other than Santa Claus, no other character is more recognized around the world than the hamburger loving spokesman for the McDonalds Corporation. Ronald McDonald was actually an altered version of Bozo the Clown created by an ad executive and a clown from the Ringling Brothers Circus. One of the early actors to portray Ronald was a part time Bozo performer and NBC Today Show weatherman, Willard Scott. Not only did he give the clown a name, Ronald, he also took a stab at creating the look of Ronald by creating a costume out of a paper cup for a nose and a cardboard tray as a hat. Pathetic? Yes..... yes it was. Bozo the Clown (R.I.P) Willard and his recycled Costume However, although crude, he was responsible for giving the character a personality and help promote the local franchises. Willard was dumped in 1966 when the corporation took Ronald national citing the reason for dumping Willard as ...

There was a time when smoking wasn't the social taboo it is today. Smoking was something people did on planes, in doctor's waiting rooms, in theatres, in their cars and pretty much everywhere else until we came to the shocking realization that smoking is actually bad for you ! Who knew !?!? You'd think that sucking carcinogenic smoke directly into your lungs would actually be beneficial and something to be encouraged. Well at least that's what they thought in the '60s and '70s as witnessed in the following classic cigarette ads. Marlboro This ad is wrong on so many levels. Using an innocent baby to sell cigarettes is one thing but to try and make you feel guilty that you don't have the best of everything like this kid's dad since you don't smoke Marlboros is really a shot below the smoke filled lungs. At least it's never too late to experience the "Miracle of Marlboro" and never feel over-smoked (as opposed to under smoked I guess). ...