Saturday, May 21, 2011

Doomsday To Do List - So Much To Do, So Little Time



As you've no doubt already heard, today is the end of the world so if you have any unfinished business to attend to, get moving and get er' done. One thing's for sure, it's not like we didn't have any warnings about the inevitable coming of the apocalypse. Signs were everywhere.


Still not convinced ? If you were an almighty power and gave your creation free will to take all the beauty you've given them to go forth and enhance life on earth and harness the wonders all around you and the best we come up with is this:


Wouldn't you cash in the chips and move on to something else too? Still not convinced ? How about this:


Granted - he is amusing but holy cow, where the hell do we go from here ?!?! So again, the end is literally around the corner so here's a list of things to do (or not to do) in lieu of the coming destruction.

1. Don't pay any debt. (Why bother?)
2. Run with scissors. (What's the worst that can happen, you're gonna die anyway)
3. Tell the neighborhood bully he's an idiot. (Even if he beats the crap out of you it will only hurt for a few hours)
4. Tell your office mates you're the one secretly passing the silent but deadly ones. (You think they're going to care at a time like this?)
5. Call you're cable company and order all the premium channels. (If you're gonna die, may as well have an awesome selection of viewing options)
6. Use real butter. (Seriously, you're going to worry about your cholesterol now ?)
7. Order and actually eat a baconator. (After eating one, world's end won't come quick enough)
8. Mix your recyclables in with your regular garbage. (No amount of recycling will save us now)
9. Rent a Ferrari and drive the bajeezus out of it. 
10. Do something really stupid.......... but what ? 




In the event that the world doesn't end, do not attempt anything on the previously mentioned list. They were only suggestions anyway. Yup - it's over folks. However you choose to spend you're last day on earth, hope you enjoy doing it and if at all possible - Keep It Retro !











No comments: