Retro Video of The Day - 99 Red Balloons

If there is one thing I could never be accused of is that I am not topical and relevant. I could also never be accused of not liking Cool Ranch Doritos but that has nothing to do with this so I digress.

By now you've all seen and heard of the knucklehead, fame whoring family that have parents that would do anything to get on TV. No - not John & Kate..... no, not Hulk and Hulkette Hogan...... no, not the Lohans....... no, not the "insert useless reality star here". I'm talking about the Heene family that apparantly build giant weather balloons in their spare time when they aren't busy swapping wives on national TV. One of these babies launched yesterday with speculation that one of their soon to be Darwinism victim kids was on board. The kid's real name is Falcon so it kind of was inevitable that at one point in his life he'd try to fly - kind of obvious in retrospect.

The balloon eventually came down without the kid on board so a search was launched to find a pint sized blood splatter somewhere on the Colorado landscape which also launched a media frenzy catapulting this kid and his family into the public domain and making them a household name (or joke) instantly.

Thankfully the kid was found sleeping in the attic of the garage safe and sound. Then they started asking them questions which is when the fun really started and eventually the kid slipped up on CNN and said he did it for the show. I smell either jail time for the family or a bidding frenzy for a new reality show. Knowing how messed up TV programming is lately, don't be surprised if this family ends up with their own cable channel.

We'll never know for sure I guess if this event was legit or all a big reality show production pulling one over on us all. One thing we can all certainly agree on though is underarm hair on women is really gross. Therefore, while viewing the video below for "99 Red Balloons" from Nena, turn your eyes away at the 1:07 mark or you may throw up a little in your mouth if your anything like me. Seriously ladies, don't bother sending emails trying to defend it - not even if you were holding a basket of puppies or snuggling with a baby panda would that be remotely excuseable.

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R.I.P. Sir Roger Moore (1927-2017)

It's a sad day for Bond fans with the news of the passing of Sir Roger Moore at age 89 after a short battle with cancer. The charismatic actor wore the 007 mantle for seven films playing the super suave British secret agent, James Bond from 1973 to 1985, replacing Sean Connery and went on to be the longest serving Bond to date. Roger had early success on television portraying Simon Templar in the "The Saint" and that role groomed him well for taking over the 007 franchise. He did have quite the television resume before taking on films including roles in "Ivanhoe", "The Alaskans" and "Maverick" and with Tony Curtis in "The Persuaders". His big break came in 1973's "Live and Left Die" that launched Moore's Bond. Roger brought a smoother more gentlemanly vibe to the role compared to Sean's rough and tumble Bond. The mix worked well and it brought a new standard to how Bond would be played in future films.

Earth, Wind and Ozzy !!

There is no doubt that the advent of technology has produced many amazing things that most of us never saw coming or would ever think was possible. Furthest from anyone's mind would be the mashing of two polar opposite musical styles of heavy metal and funk. Not possible you say? Check out the fine work by DJ Cummerbund as he seamlessly combines the heavy metal madness of Ozzy Osbourne with the super slick, funky rhythms of Earth, Wind and Fire to produce a mashup of Crazy Train and September. Ain't technology grand??

Candies You Grew Up With That May Gross You Out Now (Part 1)

Being a kid in the 70s and 80s allowed you to experience certain candies that may no longer be produced but some of the stuff you grew up with is still around and there are even some specialty stores and websites that cater to making available the treats of your youth. However, just because you can still get them, doesn't mean you should. Your adult palette is vastly different than your youthful taste of what was gross and what was really cool. While eating some of the stuff on this list today may remind you of your youth, it may also provide startling and sobering realizations that you may not have been firing on all cylinders when making choices while spending your hard earned allowance at the candy counter as a kid. Bazooka - Not only was this gum cheap, 2 for a penny back in the day although I may be seriously dating myself, but it also came with a small comic featuring Bazooka Joe, who wore an eye patch and a bunch of his freaky friends including Mort who wore his turtleneck

Before They Were Famous Part 2

Here's the second installment of a glimpse into famous celebrities early start in show business thanks to the retro miracle of VCRs. When you're first starting out, any role you land to try and pay the bills is a good one. In our first installment we featured the McDLT commercial with Jason Alexander. Here he is again in another commercial with Bruce Willis for Levis's Jeans. Before suffering Growing Pains or sinking on the Titanic, Leonardo DiCaprio was just a cute kid who liked to chew gum and listen to really big boom boxes. The late Farrah Fawcett was one of the most beautiful women on television. Before her big break on Charlie's Angels, Farrah took really good care of her most second famous attribute besides her hair, her teeth.

TV Cops Before They Were Sexy

It seems most TV dramas these days are either legal or medical dramas. Regardless of whether it's a gritty, hard hitting drama or a cerebral enigma that unravels itself over an hour, one thing is consistent. Sexy people. Now I'm not saying that there weren't beautiful people on TV back in the day - after all it was called the boob tube for a reason however it seems that casting directors didn't have to worry about eye appeal when choosing actors for their TV dramas. Here's a few examples: Barnaby Jones (1973) - First of all, who the heck names their kid Barnaby? Your just begging for a school yard beating with a label like that. Uncle Jed Clampett, a.k.a Buddy Epsen (who the heck names their kid buddy either !?!?) was the title character in this show about a retired detective and his daughter-in-law solving crimes while searching for his son's murderer. Just look at those bedroom eyes. Damn son...... turn it down a notch, it's gettin' hot in here.

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