Retroguy's Wonderland

In less than twelve hours, Prince William takes his bride Catherine Middleton and walk her down the aisle of history. I wish Will & Kate many things - first of all happiness and healthy children. Secondly, exactly the opposite of what William's parents had - a loveless marriage, and finally I wish them peace and serenity. That will be a tough one.  When William's mother Lady Diana Spencer was introduced to the world, it spawned a new industry featuring unscrupulous photographers who did whatever they could to get a money shot of Diana during every facet of her life. Although the paparazzi existed before Diana was around, it was her emergence that took the scummy profession to a whole new low. She wasn't able to lead any sort of normal life and raising her children was impossible without the ever probing lenses of the air breathing pinheads that were ultimately responsible for her untimely death. Make no mistake, the paparazzi and our insatiable thirst for celebrit...

Star Wars pretty much changed everything when it came out back in 1977. It changed how we made movies, how we marketed movies, how we watched movies, and what we expected from movies. It pushed the envelope of movie making magic and brought many new technologies that are still used today including blue screen filming techniques and the THX recording standard. Worldwide, all the Star Wars movies have generated over $4.4 billion dollars in revenue. The movie spawned many rumors and unbelievable stories that would be hard to imagine today. For example, Kenner Toys signed on during production of the film to handle toy merchandising but thought the movie would flop so produced pretty much nothing and was unprepared for the huge demand after the success of the movie. For the Christmas rush, they sold boxes with coupons or basically toy I.O.Us and couldn't fulfill orders until March. George Lucas was smart enough to retain 40% of the merchandising profits. Originally Han Solo was suppo...

So the long weekend was great but as usual Monday came way too fast and was way to tough to bare. Hence the video of the day for a dreary, rainy Monday is a classic by Happy Mondays, "Step On". It was either that or "I Don't Like Mondays" but that would have been waaaay to obvious a selection. Happy Mondays formed in Salford, greater Manchester in 1980 and were a struggling band until being discovered at a battle of the bands at the legendary Hacienda nightclub. They evolved and worked with various producers and in time became a staple on the rave scene. "Step On" was released in 1990 off their Pills n' Thrills and Bellyaches album and reached number 5 on the UK charts and number 9 on the U.S. modern rock charts. It cheered me up - hope it does the same for you . 

There is no logo in the world that is more recognizable than the Coca Cola company's flagship product. Coke and its classic bottle design are a symbol known all over the world. It's gotten to the point you don't even need to have the word Coke in an advertisement as long as the distinctive bottle shape is there somewhere in the image. The classic shape has evolved over the last hundred years and has gone from a rather boring square shaped bottle to the curvy silhouette it now maintains. Below is a timeline picture showing the changes over the years . The shape is also responsible for designers of other products to be inspired by the sexy elements of the bottle, most notably  car designers. there are many examples but one of the best is the 1968 Corvette. The evolution of the bottle continues with many commemorative issues produced for various promotions but one of the latest trends was the availability of metal bottles as well.  There is no doubt the bottle will...

There's actually not as many music videos featuring fuzzy bunnies as you may think. Fear not though, here's a few that will either bring back memories, or fill you with incredible indifference. There's also a classic clip from Monty Python featuring a fuzzy bunny of the lethal kind.  For all my followers of the Catholic persuasion - Happy Easter !

It seems most TV dramas these days are either legal or medical dramas. Regardless of whether it's a gritty, hard hitting drama or a cerebral enigma that unravels itself over an hour, one thing is consistent. Sexy people. Now I'm not saying that there weren't beautiful people on TV back in the day - after all it was called the boob tube for a reason however it seems that casting directors didn't have to worry about eye appeal when choosing actors for their TV dramas. Here's a few examples:  Barnaby Jones (1973)  - First of all, who the heck names their kid Barnaby? Your just begging for a school yard beating with a label like that. Uncle Jed Clampett, a.k.a Buddy Epsen (who the heck names their kid buddy either !?!?) was the title character in this show about a retired detective and his daughter-in-law solving crimes while searching for his son's murderer. Just look at those bedroom eyes. Damn son...... turn it down a notch, it's gettin' hot in here. ...

In a previous post we covered ads from a simpler time that were some of the most sexist we've seen. (Click here to see that post) Let's take a look at a few more ads that were not so much sexist but just kinda dumb.   This ad was pretty hopeful. Some day ALL beer cans will open as easy as the new Schlitz soft aluminum cans. The old cans needed a can opener to get to the amber nectar within but the new cans can be easily opened simply with...... a can opener. Progress baby......progress.  No different than now, back in the 40s people would look to medical professionals for advice on how be the best they could be. Since more doctors preferred Camels, naturally the smart thing for a smoker to do was to switch to Camels as well. You'd have to be a complete idiot to smoke a brand not endorsed by a dapper doctor who smokes in his office. Been a long time since we've seen an ashtray in an examination room.  While we're on the subject of smoking, this ad also offere...

In part 1 of this series, we looked at some examples of candies that you may have grew up with in the 70s and 80s that hold a sweet memory in your mind of carefree and happier times when getting a sugar high after school was paramount on your things to do list. The reality is some of these treats were actually kind of disgusting but it took years of maturing before coming to that conclusion. Not all of it was that bad though. Here's a look at some more of our favorite sugar fix delivery systems.  Candy Necklaces - Candy that allowed for sharing was always fun. These candy bracelets and necklaces allowed you to share with your nearest and dearest friends and make you the most popular kid in the schoolyard. Your friends would line up for a chance to chew off a sweet morsel off the string hanging around your neck. The wouldn't even mind or care that the string of candy has been hanging around your neck all day on a hot and humid summer day while you played soccer. Yummy .   ...

Regardless of your religious background, if you're a kid, Easter always means chocolate and lots of it. Growing up you didn't care what the brand was, whether it was pure milk chocolate or chock pull of palm oil, imitation mockolate. Whether is was in the shape of an egg, a bunny, a train or your favorite cartoon character, all you cared about was that it was chocolate.  Then along came Kinder Surprise eggs. A perfect marriage of dark and white chocolate and a very cool surprise in each egg. They were certainly a treat and caught on pretty quick despite their disturbing ad that was most certainly conceived while under the influence of really bad chocolate or after questionable chocolate brownies. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage....... Cans Of Piss !!! Oh - I mean R.E.M."  Or, "Put your hands together for Van Halen formerly Rat Salad !!! Seriously. I'm not making that up.  Its clear that musicians could be genius at crafting a melody and creating a lasting epic track that stands the test of time yet still really blow at naming their bands. Here's a few more examples : Feedback The Detours Johnny & the Moondogs The Rattlesnakes To see more famous groups and their original names before they snapped out of it and focused to come up with a good name, click here .  

In an earlier post I introduced you to Kirby Ferguson, a New York based filmmaker who was working on a four part video series known as the Everything Is A Remix Project. Click here to see the original post. The premise behind the project is that nothing in media is really new but rather a remake or blatant ripoff of existing music or film.  In the first part, Kirby examined the history and art of remixing as it related to music. In the second installment, Kirby turns his attention to movies and shows how many modern blockbusters owe a huge debt to the originators and true innovators of the art. Check it out below. The Everything Is a Remix Project is working on it's third installment that should be ready for release sometime in June. Take some time to check out his site by clicking here . If you like what you see, consider dropping him a donation so he can continue his work. Don't forget to tell him how you found out about him and his amazing work.   Everything is a Re...

Any kid growing up in the 70s and 80s either loved or hated KISS. Most of the "haters" assumed their weird friends were just going through a phase and eventually would grow out of their strange fascination with the four painted people with the foot high heels and freaky costumes. Obviously the haters were completely wrong. KISS is bigger than ever and, by utilizing some very smart business sense, were able to remain relevant after all these years and continue to tour.  Their influence on our culture continues.  Their latest plan is to take over Easter. They've made so much money, that they now plan to issue their on currency. Below is a prototype for the American KISS twenty dollar bill.   An alternate design - still tweaking the details obviously.   Once the U.S. is conquered they will set their sights on the U.S.'s closes neighbor - Canada .  

Sampling in music has been going on for decades and even before the digital age, mashups existed though they were called edits or Mega-Mixes. One of the most famous series was the Bits & Pieces mixes where the master tapes were created by literally cutting and splicing tape recorded pieces of music samples together until a new mix was created. It was tedious work and took forever.  Enter the digital age. In this iPod world, all you need is smartphone to get basic tools to create a decent mix of a popular song. Invest in better and proper equipment you can create something even more special. If the guys tweaking the knobs happen to be legendary DJ Armand Van Helden and Kanye West's DJ A-Trak, then you've got something kinda special. Armand and A-Track hooked up and created Ducksauce and have put up some pretty choice club cuts in recent years. One of my favorites is Barbera Streisand that features Boney M's classic "Gotta Go Home".  Check it out and see if ...

Hey there Retrofans ! Sorry for the temporary hiatus but fear not, we're back with more of the posts you love so please ease up on the love/hate mail. I hear you, I miss you too, it's not you - it's me. I'm glad we settled that.  Feel free to drop me  line if you have any suggestions or questions at realretroguy@gmail.com Peace, Love, Retro !